Lifestyle

Are you a goal setter? If not, you should be! Did you know that people who set goals are 10 times more likely to be successful than those who don’t? That statistic alone should be enough to motivate you! Setting goals for yourself truly has the power to change your life, but with it comes the potential for incredible disappoint. ‘Failing’ at a goal you’ve set can be so disheartening, but by using these steps and setting SMART goals, achieving all your goals is so possible!

Specific. Be specific! This is probably the most important step. If your goals aren’t specific, how will you know when you reached them? An example of this would be ‘I want to lose weight’ vs ‘I want to lose 15 lbs.’

Measurable. Your goals need to be measurable, meaning you need to be able to accurately measure success. Using the example from above, a goal of losing 15 lbs. is easily measurable. All you need is a scale!

Actionable. You need to be able to take action on your goals. What is your game plan? How will you achieve it? Do you have the resources and capabilities you need to achieve it? If not, what are you lacking? If after this step you find your goal(s) to be too large, you should break it down into manageable actionable subgoals you can achieve.

Relevant. One of the reasons we fail to achieve our goals is because we bite off more than we can chew and set too many at one time. This can be challenging because there can be many areas of our lives that we want to work on, but too many goals will lead to burn out and loss of motivation. This step will help you pick which one(s) you should focus on first. Which is most relevant to you now? Throughout the many seasons of life, there are times when different goals will be more relevant. If one of your goals is to have a garden, that may not be relevant now in the middle of winter. It would make more sense to put it on hold until the spring.

Time-Bound. Put a time frame on your goals. For example, I want to lose 10 lbs. in 3 months. Then you can break it down weekly, which would be about a pound a week. Putting a time frame on your goals not only makes them feel more achievable and less daunting, but it will help you stay motivated.

When we set goals we create the future in advance. Life is too short to not accomplish all you desire! If you use these 5 steps and plan SMART goals, 2019 can be greater than you imagined! Get some paper, a pen, and get going! Happy goal setting!

To be completely honest, I am still in shock. Some of you don’t know this, but from the beginning, it has always been difficult for me to get pregnant. After 3 years of marriage, we were blessed! I thought it would never happen to me but, in 2013 I got pregnant. Unfortunately, that didn’t last long. I delivered our first son at 20 weeks. I won’t go into the details but what I will say is that was the worst and the best thing that ever happened to me. I say best because it was an experience that brought me closer to God.

Fast forward to 3 years after that in 2016. I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy, Liam. It felt like my husband and I had tried forever to get pregnant until we finally just stopped trying, and he came unexpectedly. I had a high-risk pregnancy, due to me having what they call an incompetent cervix. So that meant they had to stitch my cervix. Being unable to carry to term on my own, is the reason why I lost the first baby. This time I had a great doctor and an even greater support system.

I still can’t believe that I’m a mother! It’s seriously the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but I’m learning day by day. I make a lot of mistakes, I feel guilty and I get annoyed. I’m not the mom I thought I’d be. What I’m learning is that’s ok. It pushes me to seek God and cling to him for guidance. Liam is also teaching me things about myself I never knew before. Unconditional love, compassion, and gratefulness. Being his mother has blessed me immensely and don’t get me wrong, he also drives me absolutely crazy! Ask my friends and family, they will tell you. For some reason I believed he would be my only child, I don’t know why. I guess I just thought that I couldn’t handle another baby. Patience is not my thing, so I figured God knows this, so I’m good, right? I figured maybe I’ll get pregnant when Liam is 5 or 6 years old, and I always told God, please don’t wait too long in between because I don’t want to start over again. Well, He took that one serious because I am now pregnant again. By the time I give birth, Liam will be turning 3. God can be so funny. Again, I was in shock and the crazy thing is that it will be 3 years after Liam. I think I see a pattern….

This pregnancy has been far from easy. I’ve been so sick and nauseous. I can’t keep anything down. I’m super hormonal. I know, I know, I’m not the first mom to get these symptoms, but it has put through it. Trying to deal with this pregnancy, a two-year-old, work and my husband, it’s definitely brought me to my knees. The problem was that not only was I struggling with these feelings and emotions but, I’ve also felt guilty about them. Guilty because, in my mind, I should know better. In my mind, I’m not being grateful. In my mind, God is going to change his mind about blessing me again. But, only through my relationship with God, has He reassured me that it’s ok to not feel ok. This is just a process. God doesn’t take blessings away. He’s the one taking me through the hardest parts and showing me He is my strength in my weaknesses. To be honest, I was excited in the beginning, even though I spent most of my time complaining and then feeling bad. But now I’m learning that my Father is with me and will still use all of this for His glory. Grace is not limited. Jesus is not limited to our feelings and emotions. We limit God, but I pray that we will be real with ourselves to not only surrender the not so fun stuff, but allow ourselves to go through our feelings, and not be led by them. Trusting that always being thankful and knowing God is in control will teach us something in those difficult moments.

God is so amazing. He put in my heart to start reading the book of Psalms. That’s a really long book but, it was like He said just take your time and come with me on this journey. I must admit, I was inspired by reading about how David went through some hard times, while always letting God know his true feelings about his struggles. How even at a point he questions if God is even listening. The most beautiful part is that even in that same Psalm, he gives God the glory. We are not that different. God wants us to really have a true honest relationship with Him. We can say whatever is in our heart without thinking He will take our salvation away. So yes, there are times that I struggle with doubt. That fear tries to creep in, but my Father is faithful and He doesn’t lie! I just have to keep my eyes fixed on Him. I can’t do this without Him. To be honest, none of us can. We can try but will never, truly succeed.

A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.
 She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.

 She works with eager hands.
She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family
 She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.
Her lamp does not go out at night.
She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.
When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. She is clothed in fine linen and purple.
Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household

Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:
“Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.”
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

-Excerpts from Proverbs 31

First of all, it should be Mother’s Month, not Mother’s Day. They carried a baby for 9 months one day does not do the role of a mother justice, but I digress. I have been blessed with the most amazing, inspirational, driven mother in the whole world. She is a gift to us all. Anyone who meets her will agree that she has impacted his or her life in one way or another for the better. Nothing in life came easily to her.  She worked very hard to be where she is today and that is why I praise her. To describe her in one word I would use determined. Everything that could have stopped her and brought her down has only been the catalyst she used to change and become better. She tells me stories of the woman she used to be and it is hard to fathom that it’s true. She gives God and my dad all the glory for saving her life. #therearestillgoodmeninthisworld

I want to hone in on one aspect of her life that could have easily gone sour if she did not make the conscious decision to do better. Growing up she did not have the best relationship with her mom. Her mom was bitter, alone and not affectionate but my mom vowed to be different than her upbringing. One mother’s day my mom said the only thing she wanted from her mom was to be able to give her a hug and kiss every time she saw her. She was able to enjoy a hug from her mom for the next 4 years until the day grandma went up to see Jesus in heaven.

My mom hugs and kisses me every chance she gets. Smothering those she loves with affection brings her joy. She cares for everyone she meets as if they are her own children. She loves with her whole heart.

It’s an honor to be her daughter. She’s taught me the principle of being brave and doing what God is calling me to do afraid. She has helped me through healing from a broken heart on several occasions.

  She extends strength to me in ways that only a mother can.  She serves in the house of God because she is so grateful for how the lord changed and saved her life.  One of my favorite qualities about my mom is her ability to not join in when people talk negatively about others. She sees the best in people ALWAYS. And points me in the same direction to see things from other’s perspective. With her, I have become a better person.

She supports me in anything and everything I do. I live to make my parents proud and carry on their legacy. Big shoes to fill, but with God all things are possible. It’s funny because I write that and I can hear my mom in the background saying, “you’re going to be even greater and better than I ever was.”

Until at least I’ve won the race

Remind me I’m not finished yet

“Remembrance” by Hillsong

I am 28 years old, which means I have 21 years until I reach my mom’s age. I have so much to grow in and become. I am nowhere near finished I have so much to go, but I will carry on the legacy of my mom. I am determined to be who God called me to be. At this point, I am not even scared because the more I step out the easier it gets to do those things that once scared me.

“And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?” Esther 4:14.  As the daughter of a king and co-heirs of God’s inheritance, I look forward to what the future hold.

Mom, you did the best you could with what you had and in my eyes, you surpassed them all my Proverb 31 mother.  I look forward to being as cleanly and as poised as you.  When I grow up anytime I clean the house or working with my hands I will always think of you and continue to admire that I get to serve under a woman like you.

I will continue to serve for as long as I live.

We are so excited to share our lives with you! We saw a need and we wanted to fill it.  Join us on this journey of doing life together. We want every woman to be inspired, encouraged and feel they can be what they were created to do!

There is something special about a father-daughter relationship especially for a dad who has been there for their child all their lives. I don’t cry much ever, but when it comes to my dad I get so emotional.  I genuinely appreciate him for who he is. I have shared many father-daughter moments with my dad but one I look forward to is the day we get to dance together at my wedding. I went to my friend Linda’s wedding last year and I couldn’t compose myself during the father-daughter dance.  The thought of leaving my father’s home to live with another man for the rest of my life is bittersweet. I would really miss living with my parents. So I came to the conclusion that I needed to be with a man like my dad so that my new home feels like my first home.

My favorite father-daughter moments go back to my childhood. We would play taxi wherever we drove. He was the driver and I was the passenger.  He would talk to me, confirm directions and ask me questions all to practice my Spanish.  My dad also tucked me into bed every night until I was 12 years old.  We would sing,

“Bind us together Lord

Bind us together with cords that cannot be broken

Bind us together Lord

Bind us together Lord

Bind us together with love,”

and then we would pray.  Every morning my father would dress me for school while I was still sleeping until I began developing then that luxury stop.  Most Fridays, we would take a trip to the mall and he would buy me a new outfit a ritual I wish we could continue (haha). When he would scold me he never once raised his voice at me.  When I needed correcting he would sit me down and talk to me. He was so gentle and patient with me and because of this, I have always desired to please my dad because he was so good to me.

Every Valentine till this day he gives me a card and tells me that I will forever be his Valentine and he gets me a little gift as a token of his love. Currently, we have a passion for hiking together and that keeps us close.

My parents are awesome, but they will tell you they had a rocky start. Almost didn’t make it. Might have been another statistic, but the thought of another man raising me was out of the question for my dad so they worked out all of their issues and learned to love each other the right way once they encountered God. The beauty that came out of that decision is evident in their relationship today.

Because of who my dad was/is I knew early on that the man I wanted to spend the rest of life with had to have his qualities because that is what I grew up knowing.  A man who: loved Christ; was the leader of the home; put his family first; was consistent; would protect me and defend me and never give up on me; cared about working out discord; loved me with all he had; and would tell me how proud he was to call me his daughter.  That’s who my dad is.

He is trustworthy because he followed Christ to lead us in the way we should go. He loves me more than I know and is not afraid to show it.  He constantly affirms me and gives me the motivation to keep going. His love reminds me that a woman should be adored and cherished.  I am valuable and precious and I walk with that esteem.
I feel secure with my father.  I would always tell my parents I would prefer to remain single so that it could be the three of us forever doing life together.  They never wanted that for me though.  They want me to have a family of my own to carry on the beauty of our family.  I will forever be grateful that I had a father like I had.

A message to fathers:  Be the man you want your daughter to one day marry.  Set the example from an early age of how a woman should be treated so that she would never settle for anything but the best.

For those ladies who never had that example growing up in your home look for it in Christ. In moments where your earthly dad failed God would make up for it because he will never fail us.  Find your identity in your heavenly Father and always remember for a man to get to you he has to go through Jesus first.

Happy Father’s Day.

I recently went to the Jets v. Colts football game. At the beginning of the game, they were singing the national anthem as they always do. When the song reached the point that said:

“…and the rockets red glare
the bombs bursting in air
gave proof through the night
that our flag was still there
oh say does that star-spangled banner yet wave?”

As many times as I have heard this song, I was overcome with emotion because the thought that came to mind was a war scene. All of this madness and craziness was going on and the hope to these men was that they were winning because the flag was still waving on their fort. It was not overtaken. They were still in the fight. The flag showed they were victorious.

I couldn’t help but sit back and think of my life. When chaos is going on around me and it looks like I’m being defeated I see that “FLAG” which for me is a symbol of Hope that I can keep going. I will not be overcome by the chaos. I was not created to give up or slow down. My flag is Jesus, my motivation. I waved my white flag the day I said I would follow Him. He is my hope.

What is your flag? Where do you turn when things are all over the place?

As time goes on I will continue to share my flag with the world through my writings in the hopes that it will help you as having Jesus in my life has helped me. That is where Her Hope Arises was birthed. 2016 was an emotional rollercoaster if I can put it gently.  One day I will share the full story. I learned a lot about myself. When my eyes were on the battle I was completely engulfed in my sorrow. But when I put my eyes on my flag (Jesus) I was able to see things more clearly. I realized that I could keep going even though I was hurt. The pain was there, but when I saw myself finding joy in new ventures my entire perspective changed. I went on a missions trip for the first time in my life; God reconfirmed what I should be exhausting my energies into; and I was reminded who I was, the daughter of a King who was created for more than a broken heart. I was able to walk in my purpose because I stopped looking at the problem and I was looking at the problem solver.

In my pain I found my purpose and that can never be taken away from me. My purpose is to be an exhorter – to take the stories of woman and point out the beauty of what others need to see so that they know what they went through was for a reason, to help someone else. We can all learn from the each other’s journeys thats how we get through in life and thats how we grow.

The truth is blogging is only the beginning of what Her Hope Arises will become. I hope to be an impact and encourage all my friends and soon to be friends to find their purpose amongst the chaos so that we all live full satisfying lives keeping our eyes on the flag.