This thought has been in my heart for so long and I’ve had the hardest time getting it out on paper. I usually don’t struggle to write or create content, but lately, it has felt impossible. I think it’s because I’m in a season where I’m really trying to dig deep. I want to grow as an individual, better myself, deal with my weaknesses/issues/blind spots, and most importantly, be true to myself. I want to figure out who I am, what I love, what I stand for, and chase that wholeheartedly. So with that being said, let me do my best to express myself and bring this season/idea full circle. During this journey one of the main issues I dealt with is comparison. I was a slave to this silent killer. Now being on the other side, I feel so free. So truly happy with myself and content. I want to share a few thoughts on comparison, how to know if you’re a victim, and how to escape its grip.
- Comparison will stop you right in your tracks. You have so many dreams and ambitions, you want to do more but you just can’t seem to take the first step, there’s a good chance you’ve fallen victim to the comparison trap. It’s so easy to think ‘What do I have to offer? She’s so much better at it than me. It just comes so naturally to her. So many people are in the industry already.’ Sound familiar? Take a step back, search your heart and see if you’re really passionate about what you’re chasing. If you are, don’t let comparison rob you of achieving your dreams!
- Thanks to social media, we compare our worst day with someone else’s best. Don’t get me wrong; I’m definitely not anti-social media. I think it’s fun and a great way to stay in contact with friends and family. However, looks can be deceiving. A picture can be staged, styled, and edited to the point where you wouldn’t even recognize the person anymore. Take social media for what it is and don’t get caught up in the whirlwind. No one’s life is Instagram perfect.
- Comparison is really just another way of judging people. I didn’t consider myself a judgmental person until I became aware of how often I was comparing myself to others. Comparison causes you to find the worst in people. No one wants to feel crappy about themselves. So in order to combat that, our subconscious will pick out the worst in others to make us feel better about ourselves. What a sad way to live… and it doesn’t even work! Lifting others up rejuvenates the soul. Highlighting others strengths and encouraging them will make you feel better too! Haters are sad, self-conscious people that are unhappy with where they are so they can’t celebrate other people. I’ll be the first one to say I have been there. It’s time to break free of that and become happy and truly content with ourselves! If we all did that I think this world would be a better place.
- You will never grow as long as you are comparing yourself to other people. Comparison causes you to be very closed minded and inward focused. Everything becomes about you and your struggles. In order to grow as an individual and get to new levels in your life, you need to be others focused. I heard an interview recently with a very successful woman and she said: “The only reason I make more money than you do is because I serve people better than you.” That quote hit me so hard. Success is only achieved when we learn how to put someone else’s needs before our own and really learn to be a servant. One of my favorite authors, Napoleon Hill, says ‘It is literally true that you can succeed best and quickest by helping others to succeed.’
- Comparison has way more to do with how you feel about yourself and your own insecurity than it does about the other person. Social media is not the problem. Plastic surgery is not the problem. Our own individual self-consciousness is the problem. Other people’s actions don’t have to affect us. We have complete control over what we allow ourselves to feel, think, and believe. If you struggle with insecurity, be intentional about changing that! Start with spending just 15 minutes a day highlighting your strengths, encouraging yourself, reminding yourself of what God thinks about you, and speaking your dreams into existence. If you are serious about this and really apply yourself to it, I promise you, it will change your life!
- You need to learn to love yourself now as much as you “will” when you reach your goal. If you haven’t realized yet, self-love is key. Just because you aren’t where you want to be yet, don’t cut yourself short by forgetting to celebrate how far you’ve come! Every morning when I look at myself in the mirror I say “I’m so proud of you.” For a long time, I was so good at picking out all the things that were still ‘wrong’ with me and how much work I had left to do instead of seeing how much I’ve grown. I never encouraged myself for working so hard, it was just always about how I’m not there yet. Love yourself now, perfect imperfection and all, because in reality if you don’t love yourself now you won’t be able to love yourself there.
- Don’t forget to enjoy the moment and live in the now. Life goes by so fast- I mean we’re already in July! I’m gonna get real for a second ladies. Please don’t say I am not going to the beach because you don’t want to wear a bathing suit. Don’t stop yourself from taking pictures with your friends, family, and kids because you don’t like the way you look. Life is full of so many beautiful moments and none of us know how many we will get. I encourage you to not miss any of them. Live in gratitude every day- someone else is praying for what you already have! Each day a gift from God. Don’t let insecurities and comparison stop you from enjoying each and every day.
- Lastly, be patient. You’re not going to be 100% complete and whole by tomorrow and yes, you’re still going to have bad days. The key is to not let yourself stay there. Get up and start again tomorrow. Learn to love the process. Life isn’t always perfect, but I believe by making a few changes in how we think and act we can make the good far outweigh the bad.
Comparison doesn’t only kill the dream. It kills the joy. It kills the happiness. Learn to love yourself right where you are- scars, scraps, love handles, and all. You are in control of your happiness, and it starts by loving yourself right here, right now.
“I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.”