Do you ever stop yourself from doing something because of what people will think or say about you? I know I have, since I was a little girl in 6th grade as a matter of fact. My friends were very opinionated and I was the shy, quiet, insecure girl in school. So that meant I had an opinion, but was never confident enough to express it. I went along with whatever they wanted, basically a push over. By the time I got to high school they were picking out my clothes. I gave up on trying to make any decisions because they didn’t like my taste. I guess in a way I also lost my voice, no matter what I said, it was wrong. I felt dumb, so what was the point, right? I was afraid of being rejected, and of allowing people to notice how “dumb” I was. So I shut down. Never tried out for anything, never had an opinion. What a sad way of living. This led to me trying to find attention other ways. I started relying on my looks. Hey, this way I didn’t need to use my brain I just needed to sit there and look good. That led to more years of insecurity, me not caring about myself, allowing myself to be used. I literally felt emptiness. No brain, no voice, no goals or ambitions, my heart was empty. All because I allowed peple to tell me how to live.
I started going to Ignite Church in 2014, and it changed my life. Not only because of my relationship with Christ, but because I was serving! They wanted to use me. Amarilis gave me a platform to have a voice and I will never forget that moment I got to share my story. (I will forever be grateful to her) I had woman around me encouraging me, believing in me and pushing me to do different things. This was so scary, but I knew it was time. I started to believe God had a purpose for me and this was His way of flourishing me. I started to do things for Him, this changed everything. I’m 30 years old and I am still finding things out about myself through my relationship with Jesus. I’m growing, I’m trying knew things, I’m obeying Him and it has become the most fulfilling thing I have ever experienced.
I won’t say I am completely done with feeling a little insecure or caring about what people think. I will say that no matter how I feel, I will continue obeying God, continue to step out of my comfort zone, and ignore those voices in my head because I refuse to lose any more of who God has called me to be.
I have a hunger to dig deeper with God, and believing in what He says about me. I am on a mission of renewing my mind. I will completely overcome this. I proclaim it, because I have seen how far He has brought me. It will take time and a lot of Jesus but now I ask for you to begin focusing on Him. Do not let people continue to dictate your life, you have a purpose. A voice. I pray that this will encourage you to step out…in Faith.
Don’t look for validation from man, the one you need can only be found in Christ. That’s the one that counts~ Pastor Jorge Caban
For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ. ~ Galatians 1:10