As I continue to do life with my friends and take the time to pray for women. One thing that God has put on my heart is, we as women cannot be expected to love others if we can’t love ourselves. We can’t find value in others because our value does not come from people it comes from Christ. Until we believe we are enough we’re not going to be in healthy relationships with each other because we haven’t learned the first step; accepting God’s love and walk in that love.
I find that if we don’t value ourselves enough we will settle for anything. The more you love yourself, the more you will carry yourself as a confident woman, who knows what she deserves.
I know it is such a struggle especially when feelings and emotions are involved. Being in relationships with others exposes how we view ourselves. Deep in all of our hearts, we secretly know when a guy we are entertaining is not God’s best for us and when it is in your best interest to walk away. Or even when we are in friendships that don’t edify us or make us better people. We stay because we’re comfortable and we settle. We put up with behaviors and lifestyles we would not have chosen for ourselves if we really cared about ourselves. Maybe it is because we don’t want to be alone. Maybe it is because we think we can change the guy. Maybe we feel we deserve to be mistreated because we think that is true love. But to be a true woman of worth we need to realize those are not reasons to stay in a relationship. We have to desire to be healthy people living life to the fullest in community with each other. Now that is what is going to bring us so much joy.
In my life, I had to vow to not enter into a relationship until I was a completely whole person. Meaning knowing my identity and loving myself first. I had to learn my worth and when I did I found it as a Daughter of the Creator, not in my significant other. That is where we trip up, because we want to find a guy who makes us complete but in reality, if you are complete in yourself your significant other will be a compliment, a wonderful addition, your partner, a blessing.
Another way to value oneself is by walking in the promise that God has so much planned for my life that I can’t let my insecurities, doubts or inabilities hold me back. I came to love the woman of God I was, embracing that I was enough and I was worthy of love because Christ thought I was worth dying for. I was worth saving so that one day I could spend eternity in heaven with him.
This confidence did not come over night and it is easier said than done, but it is one of the greatest journeys to embark on. I want to set the example for women I meet of living a valued life so that they know what scripture says is true, “…that she is worth far more than rubies” not defined by her past mistakes but by the God in heaven that “knit me together in my mother’s womb, fearfully and wonderfully made, created in His image.” Proclaiming those promises found in his word. If only we believed we were enough the great power we would have to change generations to come after us would be ginormous.
The beauty of valuing yourself is full circle because it puts you in a place to value others. Love your neighbor as yourself. For this is one of the greatest commandments.
My sister you matter.